To: You
From: Pasha Hollywood
Hey, it’s me! Influential movie tycoon Pasha Hollywood.
You seem to be pretty good at this stupid game, so I got a favor to ask you…
One of my lawyers told me that it's his birthday next week, and of course, I was like “Okay, why would I give a shit?” but then I realized he was probably telling me that for a reason. So, okay fine. Let's get some people to say happy birthday?
What kind of people? I think that's pretty obvious: The people who fuck on camera for money.
Here’s {{dollars(round.budget)}}. I’ll give you points for every porn actor you hire, but if you break the budget, there's no money for blow. No blow, no points. That’s the rules. I make the rules.
xo,
Pasha
To: You
From: Pasha Hollywood's Dog
WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF!
Arf arf arf! Arf arf (whine) (sustained whining noise) arf arf woof.
[the act of jumping up and running around in circles for no discernable reason.]
Bark Bark! {{dollars(round.budget)}} bark 100 points woof woof woof. Woof!? (panting).
[the act of pressing nose into your thigh forcefully enough that you'll just end up petting]
xo,
Pasha's Dog
To: You
From: Pasha Hollywood
Hey, it’s me! Influential movie tycoon Pasha Hollywood.
My daughter has been going on and on lately about my role as a “father figure”, whatever it is that means. Something about being stable and emotionally available? I'm not exactly sure, I tend not to listen.
Anyway, she said she needs a father figure in her life before storming out of the house, so I need you to find some. As many as you can. Here's {{dollars(round.budget)}}. I think it's her birthday.
To: You
From: Pasha Hollywood
Hey, it’s me! Influential movie tycoon Pasha Hollywood.
It's my daughter's birthday next week, and I remember she has strong opinions about Star Trek. She either really likes it or really hates it.
Oh wait! I remember now. She likes one of the Star Trek shows, but not the other ones. Like uhhhhh...... I think there's one with wrinkly aliens, and there's a bunch of prosthetic makeup. That's the one she likes, or hates. Whatever.
Anyway, here’s {{dollars(round.budget)}}. Get me some Star Trek people.
To: You
From: Pasha Hollywood
Hey, it’s me! Influential movie tycoon Pasha Hollywood.
You seem to be pretty good at this stupid game, so I got a favor to ask you…
My daughter is turning 17, and I want to get celebrities to wish her a happy birthday. Which celebrities? I couldn't care less, just make it as many celebrities as you can. I have no idea what she likes, other than spending my money.
Here’s {{dollars(round.budget)}}. I’ll give you points for every celebrity you hire, but if you break the budget, no points. That’s the rules. I make the rules.
Oh wait, maybe she’s turning 18? Anyway, don’t exceed the budget.
xo,
Pasha